Barzilai has had wonderful experiences at his temple. He is led by G-d to convert to Judaism. I have had varied experiences and I felt like a fish out of water at the temples. I miss Jesus not being there; only another Christian can understand that. Barzilai and I were at two different places in our spiritual walks when we both first visited the temples and we are two different people. I am also very physically ill and it makes everything harder to deal with.
I have had some bad experiences. Some Jewish people expect you to convert and tell you that you are in the conversion process, this is not my plan. I did not plan to be in the Jewish Awakening either. Some tell you that Jesus is not Savior and that you are tricked.
One temple thought I was strange because I wanted to go by myself and pray in the chapel/shul. It is not strange to go to the chapel to pray by yourself in Christianity. See the cultural differences that can lead to misunderstandings? I went to the temple to pray. They actually were sarcastic to me, and had the door locked, and wouldn't open it up. #locked out!
So there I was blocked by Jews to go in and pray before the Torahs. They knew me, knew I am safe, knew my heritage, know I don't cause trouble, and know about my health. I am very ill and seeking G-d for my healing and answers about this Jewish Awakening. Did they care? NO! It was not a security issue, and if it was they could just tell me the rules and I would totally understand. They LIED to me not once, but 3 times. They don't understand what Crypto Jews are going through and frankly don't care.
It was very upsetting to be #locked out. Jews have been locked out themselves for many years and in many unfair ways. Why do this to me?
This was a Reform temple that is suppose to be a more of an open place to others and even allow interfaith marriages. Many of the people there I met were very nice people. This is a person or persons in leadership that is unaccepting. Another note: Barzilai has only had wonderful experiences at his little temple in Europe. This is not how to treat people, especially a Crypto that is in the Awakening. Jews keeping a Crypto Jew from praying before the Torah's. Is that right?!
The Catholics ripped apart our ancestors’ families and now the Jews themselves are road blocks to what G-d is doing.
Remember the reason the 2nd temple went down is because of the way Jews treated each other.
I don't agree with the rules of calling a rabbi 3 times then they might talk to you the 4th when it is a person with Jewish heritage wanting to ask a question. This is not my main point, just a side note.
The Jews at that temple will do what they want. That is their right. If they chose to let someone in or not that is their right. The Cryptos like me will just find another place to learn or to worship.
Not every person in the Awakening is going to convert. Some are to add Jewish prayers or pray a different way. Some are to visit or receive part of Jewish culture and they are fulfilled with what G-d is doing with them. Other people are called to convert. It varies and it can be an emotional and supernatural journey to go through.
I tell you this; I do not appreciate having been lied to and the count at 3 times. I can never feel comfortable at this temple and can never TRUST them. It takes courage even to visit a temple. They don't understand that. It takes courage to step out of a heavily guarded 500 year old secret. People go because they want truth and have been lied to about who they are. G-d is moving on people in the Awakening by visions, dreams, experiences, and DNA tests. I really didn't need to be lied to any more especially by Jews.
The Jewish Awakening is a difficult place to be in. It’s like finding out you have been adopted. You have been lied to about your core identity. G-d himself has to arrange ways to bring the truth to you so you figure it out. A person in the Awakening is forced to question everything dear to them spiritually and has to face the ugly church history.
I will never forget how it felt to stand in front of a large temple door speaking through the intercom and spoken to sarcastically and being #locked out.
I will include the full story and what happened afterwards in my book. G-d used a Jewish person to council me and was very kind. I wanted to get away from this Awakening! I think this bad experience is a lesson learned. It is a real part of being in the Awakening.
There is another temple in town that is accepting to Cryptos. They do tell you that Jesus is not savior and that you are tricked, which is upsetting when you visit. Sometimes it’s just better to be kind and they should just let G-d handle it. They are pretty good to deal with besides the Jesus part. I think they are just trying to help me and mean well. The same way Christians try to help people get saved.
I am thankful for the Lutherans. They have always been there for my family and guess where I went after being #locked out? I went to the Lutheran church, they had a beautiful prayer room for me to pray in that day. It was like history repeating itself again. The Lutherans were always there for us ALWAYS!
If you are a grandchild of Crypto Jews, you might not feel accepted or find a place right away. I know it can be a lonely place in between religions. I hope this website is a place for you to visit.
Barzilai is converting when he can arrange time off of work, he hopes by the end of this year, but no guarantee. He has a very supportive rabbi that specializes in finding hidden Jews. As I mentioned not everyone is up for conversion. Everyone is at a different place. What matters is your relationship with G-d and knowing that G-d loves you.
I wasn't planning on writing about this incident on my blog, but it came up again because a Jewish friend called that temple. Aaaugh. She calls almost a year later after the incidents. I will probably write you a poem about it. It was very upsetting and a big hit in this journey.
I hope the Messaich comes soon, he will straighten out everyone's doctrines and we can live in peace.
I included a video about being beautiful. We are beautiful and accepted before G-d, even if some Jews or anti-Semitics don't always understand us or accept us. I know it is much harder for some of you that are living in highly anti-Semitic countries. Please stay safe, and know you are loved, and know that you are a special part of something way bigger than both of us!
Please see the video below. We are the 5 Petaled Roses! We are the missing pieces of the puzzle.
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